he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
