I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
