you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
