Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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