So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
