I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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