Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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