Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize