I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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