i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
