listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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