Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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