He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The adults are the big ones right?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
