This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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