I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I touched a dick in church today
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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