So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
