I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
