I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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