I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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