Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
