and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
