am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
