you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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