The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
