Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
