dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
