So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
