He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
