Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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