I'm going to jail i love you
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
