i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
