they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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