porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
