I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
