he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
