ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
