I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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