Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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