PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
