The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
