Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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