'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
