I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
