When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
