If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
