Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
