My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
