I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
