the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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