He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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