She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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