yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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