im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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