i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
