drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
