He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
