is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
