well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
