belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
