You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
