i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
