some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
