He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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