he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
